Good Morning...

Well actually it's suppose to a be a great morning, but I was awaken by the loud voices in the kitchen. Screams and yells woke me up in my deep slumber. My mother and sister are fighting in the background. It's never gotten this bad. I haven't known any instances where my little sister talked back and cussed at my mom. It was really wierd and yet frightening at the same time. My sister slammed her door and shook the entire house. I can still the reprocussions from it. I was trying to listen to what the aruguement was about and it always seems to be the car. My sister needs the car to go to school (she's in high school, senior to be exact) and my mom needs the car to go to work. My mom would actually take the van, but some how it won't start because my sister managed to fuck it up. I don't know what she did, but the van won't start.

So, my sister raised her voice and said: "Go FUCKING take the car!" "TAKE IT! TAKE IT!" ....slight paused "BITCH!".... raising her voice again. My mom then responds: "BASTOS!" "GAGO!" "Anong klase na tao ka!?" "Hayop!" "Umalis kana!" "BASTOS!".....slight pause and I can hear her sobs...she starts to cry...I suddenly had a temeprature rise and I can't help but wanting to choke my stupid little sister. I wanted to beat her ass. Actually, my sister never had a hand laid on her. She was brought up with only warnings or the two hour interrogation by mom. She then comes out of her room and starts screaming: "FUCK, TAKE THE CAR!" "TAKE IT!" "TAKE IT!"....in all it was the same words that was repeated over and over....I finally had enough! I rose out of bed....started to yell at her and said: "YOU ARE ONE RUDE, UNEDUCATED, SELFISH LIL BRAT!" I couldn't say "bitch" cause it was overly used in the conversation between my mom and sister.... I grabbed my sister and pushed her to the couch and she stands up anf pushes me....OUT OF CONTROL....I wanted to sock her ass! But I know I couldn't do it cause my mom would start yelling at me and then the tables would turn. I would be the one in trouble...So, I yell at my sister: "I'll TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL and TAKE MY PHONE SO YOU CAN CALL ME WHEN YOU NEED TO GET PICKED UP!"...I grabbed the keys and off we go...

In the car, I started yelling at her...told her that she was very rude and that's she's a bitch and a little piece of shit....I imagined slamming her had on the dashboard (it was a little to weird for me, but when anger takes over, you can't really do anything....only your mind takes control and your actions occur) and hoping that she will get some sense in her fucked up head....but I suddenly stopped cause I know that if I continue...I would have done it...she became silent the rest of the ride to school...I don't know what she was thinking, but she was very quiet...

My sister can't seem to understand that without my mom travelling to far places for work, she wouldn't have survived. It was my mom all along that support my sister and I. It was my mom who actually helped her with her car. It was my mom, who is struggling with really bad rheumatoid artritis, that kept this family alive. It was my mom who has been there for my sister and Iever since we were young. My father? No where to be found!

Interesting morning...don't you say?

gebus...

it's been a while since I used this journal...it's usually the same reason: school, work and PCN.

I actually been so active with school and outside of school. PCN for some reason has taken up most of my time....I need to figure out a way to balance everything including my practice sessions. This years PCN seems very different, I can't point it out...but I know that it's DIFFERENT. I think it's the people and the atmosphere....may be it's the VIBE.

PCN...what to do?
This year I've decided to lay low and not take too many dances at once. I decided to stick with two dances and the acting. I have a specific role that I am playing in the skit and hopefully it will turn out okay....I can't wait to shock some people with the character that I've got in the play...the role seems degrading and it's going to affect how people are going to view me. HAH HAH!

The venue for PCN this year is located at Riordan High in Frisko...the date is May 17th (freaking week before finals!) I hope can find ways of studying and doing PCN at the same time...REALLY WORRIED!

School...I don't know what to do...SOOOOOOO BEHIND with CLASSES this semester...I haven't been focusing for some strange reason for the past semesters I have managed to be on top of the schedule. Sometimes, I have been ahead of the schedule!

Papers and quizzes every single week just plain sucks ass! I can't stand that I have to read and read and read...then write 10 to 15 pages worth of papers each time. UGHHHH!

Other than the homework and other things...school seems BLAH this semester...

Wonderful world of AEO...

American Eagle Outfitters friends and family is coming up...so many coupons to give out and yet I have noone to give to...ah here's a thought...pass it around school...may be these poor starving broke ass students need a 20 percent off discount...DOES ANYONE need a coupon? cause I have lots...

There's too many kewl ass shit that I need to buy at work but I am sooooooo broke that I just wait for the BIG Sales that we have...those discounts are sooooo dope!

NEW NEW NEW NEW

Reading: NO NO BOY
Watching: the first season of SIX FEET UNDER and the second season of QAF
Listening: Lil Kim, Sean Paul, Justin Timberlake, and Common

I need to finish the camera that I have use during the trip to San Diego and Tijuana....some of the pictures there are valuable cause i took artistic pictures...I need to figure out how to finish the film...

GO TO GO!